Expect a drop in posts for a while I only have one hand with Which to type right now

Todays ordeal had me hold my hand in a fire for five minutes.  My hand is blistery and hard to move

I hear Im almost done and its keeping me going more than anything.

11 was walking home from where he had me b do this in the after superbowl chaos



It was hard

I bandaged my hand up tight and am going to try to get some sleep

only one trial left

I will finish what was started

I finished ordeal 8, and nine was today.


My taget for 8 was a girl I know named Phoebe. Slightly chubby girl, you know the type. Just too chubby to be lusted after but not chubby enough to not be a little cute. Shes been crushing on me for a long time now, and she was this easiest target.

It was very easy, but it makes me feel sick to say that. She was a little drunk, I went up to her, said some nice things then went in for a kiss. She wanted more but then I leftand started fake laughing, pretending it was just a joke and saying awful awful things.

The worst part is her current boyfriend saw. He's a friend of mine.

That completed ordeal ten, when he asked me what the hell went on, and I was just a total douchebag.

Anyways, its over guys. Tomorrow I'll be told what the next ordeal is. I'm supposed to get an answer after this. I dont think its a full answer though.

 3 trials left, he says. Hes getting quieter. Sometimes I forget plaster is in my head, you know? Then I'll find a heart cut out of paper badly with an encouraging note on it, or the pipe tobacoo I caved and bought goes missing before I can smoke it.

Or I'll feel something wrap its arms around me,protectively late into the night.

----

I hear Reach is probably dead. If he's gone...we lost a big piece, guys. We're losing too many pieces.

In other news, anyone else sign up for the MyDarkJournal's guys game? It looks interesting. Im going prey, I think. I like the underdogs usually.

Tomorrow

I have to kiss a girl and break a heart.

Its funny...the idea of hurting people is hurting less and less.

Plasterface promises a full disclosure after Saturday. So theres that at least.

My theory? Plaster is a chunk of me. Maybe he's created in response to a repressed memory, and woke up when I ventured too far into that part of my psyche. Maybe hes my imaginary friend, gone horribly wrong.

Maybe he's a Proxy.

Maybe I'm the Proxy, and he's whats left of me?


Maybe Im Edward Norton, and He's Brad Pitt.

Maybe I'm very, very sick but I hide it very well.

I wish I wasn't going to be sober for this.

Ordeal 7 was a jar of spiders like about ten

I just had the seventh ordeal.

I don't even know where we got those. I certainly have no recolection.

It was bad, guys. I don't know how I passed.

They're still in the room, somewhere.

I had to get naked then dump the spiders all over my bed. I wasn't aloud to move, if I did, I'd fail. I had to wait until all the spiders got off my body.

I don't think I broke anything yesterday, thankfully. Just a lot of bruises.

Im questioning why I'm doing all this.

Is there a higher purpose?

Journal Entries Summnation

I went through almost all of them.

I started my journal writing around first grade. I got my first one for Christmas, I think. The entries start around there anyways. Second grade was a rough year for me. We'd moved across the country before kindergarten. We moved again after first grade.

I lived in the suburban asshole of Green Bay, Wisconsin. I went to a public school. From what I can tell, I hated school. I remember and I wrote about being bullied by a midget named Nick and his two big brothers.

My brother turned on me, bullying me as well to fit in. 

I didn't have any friends, it seems, but I wrote all kinds of references about another friend.

I called him "Il Calibero" I dont think thats a real word.

But apparently, he would be with me all the time and play with me. We'd play hide and seek, tag, and read together. We would play King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table.

 He was my best and only friend.

I described him in one entry. He was the man in the Mirror and my Shadow.He was always there. I wrote a lot of stories where he beat up Nick and his brothers.

Soon afterwards I started writing entries about the Dark Man.

He apparently watched me sleep from the darkness. Not evil, but Dark. I apparently took to sleeping with a night light which helped, and covered my whole bed with stuffed animals facing in every direction, and slept with a toy sword made of wood.

Apparently, this went on, even after I changed schools. References stop being as common around age ten. At eleven, they trickle to nothing. By twelve, no seeming recolection.

The Friends name keeps changing spelling. I don't think its a real word. The closest I can find are two spanish words to the two most common spellings:

calaveras- Skull I think

caballero -  I think this means Knight?

Im sorry this took so long to type up it was... well, this trial was hard lets leave it at that.


Plaster tells me #7 wont be as difficlut or...exerting. so thats good.

Its hard to see the keyboard so I'll go ahead and save the rest of the journal stuff for later

Its like the ice age

out here. Easily one of my worst experiences in a long time. Im tired as shit. Spent most of the nighthuddled against the side of a building until I decided to make a dugout in a snowbank instead. I actually got a little sleep in there but that was so bad. No school today so I'll be sleeping until late.

The journals I went through had some creepy shit. It gets its own post later tonight.

Ordeal #6 happens tonight, I have to get into a fight and lose.

will post before heading out.

Back on the Grid/ Ordeal #5

Yo.

I missed a little bit, eh? Things seem relatively quiet though.


Ordeal 4 went down without a hitch. #5 will happen today. I have to spend the next 24 hours outdoors.

Supposed to be 15-20 inches of snow over the next 24 hours so thats fun.

I'm bundling up, and I'll use the time to go through the rest of the journals. I kept journals from age 6 (mostly pictures and silly little poems) all the way to age 11 so there are quite a few. If anything interesting comes up I'll let you know.

I can use my phone to acess blogger/MSN. The marvels of technology!

Otherwise I'll be spending the day trying to make fire/find shelter.