Twas the Night Before Christmas (Slenderman Edition)

Inspiration struck, and I did my best with it
----

Twas the night before Christmas And all through the house

Not a person was festive I had reasons to grouse

The cameras were hung by the entry with care

In the fear that the Slenderman soon would be there

My dog all a shivering, and I with my light

Had just settled down for a long sleepless night

What outside my window arose such a clatter

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window, my light did I flash,

Pulled up the blinds and pulled on the latch

Standing out there in the new-fallen snow
giving the lustre of mid-day to objects below

what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But old Slenderman? Oh, my heart filled with fear
When I knew what I saw, so lively and fast,

I got my weapons and readied to fight to the last

More rapid than eagles my crossbow did shoot
I shot in his head and shot in his foot

"Take this one and that one, and another to spare!
I’ll fill you with holes till your nothing but air!

Away from my porch! Away From my wall!

Now run away! Run away!I’ll shoot off your balls!"

Without so much as a word in reply

He raised up a hand straight into the sky

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
Not the sounds of Reindeer, but the sound of a boot
 
As I ran from the window and hurried downstairs
There stood the Slenderman without nary a care

Standing so smugly right next to the tree

I was so frightened I wanted to pee
  
His clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot. 
From his slenderman face to his slenderman suit

I knew in a moment he’d just break my back

And then I would be his Christmas eve snack.
I swung with my sword! I swung with my bat!

I gave him a bash! I gave him a slash!

But still there he stood! His look oh so merry!

I’d gave it my best, I knew I was ready

But then I knew something was odd, for my foe

On top of his head, as pale as the snow

Had a small furry hat, colored red and white

And somehow I knew he’d not come to fight.

He reached with one claw, so long and so handy

And took from my tree a single sweet candy

And then reached within the folds of his jacket

And handed to me a small weighty packet

He then walked and returned to the tree

And from his coat pulled presents for my family and me

I can’t tell you how, and I can’t tell you why

But tonight, just tonight, He’s not a bad guy.

He finished his work, but before he could leave

I ran to the kitchen, and got him a treat

The plate full of cookies, left for St. Nick

But this time, for Slendy this might do the trick.

He took the plate, seemed to smile

I was glad for tonight, if just for a while

Peace and goodwill came not just for man

But for all of our enemies, even Ol’ Slenderman

I waved him goodbye as he vanished from sight

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!"